Five love languages of Children (Part 2)

Five love languages of Children help us to understand the needs of our children better. In the previous article, the love language of words of encouragement and gift are mentioned in the previous article. In this article, the acts of service, quality time and attention and physical touch.

            a) Acts of Service

What can you do to make your child feel truly loved? Obviously, each child requires a different form of expression to feel loved. As parents we must always be aware of this.

For instance, my younger son likes to play “peek-a –boos” with his father, but the older son likes his father to read for him. It is always a good idea to actually ask our children for their preferences. In doing this, we show that we are sensitive to the child’s needs and we respect the child as an individual.

b) Quality Time and Attention

This refers to the uninterrupted time you put aside for your child to communicate and share. Therefore, it needs to be free from distraction. Children need to have periods of undivided attention from parents. Children spell love as “T-I-M-E”. If your child describe you as “busy”, pay attention to his statement. It may tell you something. My younger son who is 2 years old once said to me, ”busy daddy, busy brother, busy mother”. I took this as a wake up call to slow down to give him more time and attention.

In this respect, mummy or daddy ‘dates’ will be helpful for them. This ensures that you will consciously put aside time and give your child the undivided attention he or she needs. When we turn off the lights before sleep, my husband and I go to the bedside of each child and tell them how important and wonderful they are and affirm their good character and behaviour. It helps to build your bond with your children and at the same time enhance their self-esteem.

        c) Physical Touch

Young children under five years old love to be cuddled, kissed and hugged. There are also other ways to show our affection to children such as gentle massaging, tummy tickling, and play horse rides and so on. Older children need a pat on the shoulder as a way of showing your support for them.

The acts of service, quality time and attention and physical touch are love languages of children. Love language helps us to understand the needs of the children so that we can cater their needs accordingly and make them feel loved.

(With permission from Focus on The Family (Singapore) Ltd to use some material from Parenting with Confidence Workshop. For further information about workshop, you may visit http://www.family.org.sg )